Company

Company. Having guests in my home is weird, for me. Come to think of it, it’s probably weird for them too.
I’m an extreme introvert. I enjoy living alone. Well, I have a dog so not totally alone, but you get my meaning. I have almost complete freedom to be me – all the time.
Clean when I feel like it. Sleep, or at least try to, when I want. And where I want I want. Cook and eat when and what I want. leftovers for three days? Excellent.
Maybe it sounds a little selfish. I think it’s liberating. And comfortable. I don’t have to pretend to be anything I’m not.
When I’m in public, I wear a different mask for everyone. Depending on who they are, I put on a different persona to try to make THEM comfortable.
Then company comes over. Suddenly the outside world has invaded my bubble of comfort. Dishes in the sink? Embarrassed. Sand on the floor that I haven’t bothered to sweep up in a few days. Embarrassed.
And what do I say? Bad conversationalist, embarrassed. Most of time is spent conversing with a dog. It’s easy. She can’t understand me and doesn’t talk back. I can say pretty much anything and as long as I use a soothing tone, she won’t get upset.
You might be thinking, but you’re an author. Surely words are easy for you. Nope, not even a little. Fiction is easy. Everyone says what I want or need them to say. Not sure who should say what next? Skip to another part of the scene and let your brain work on it in the background.
Anyway, my point is, having company is hard. For me. Next time you pay someone a visit, maybe think of me. And be kind to your host. You have no idea how hard they might be trying to put on a good show for you.