3 Kittens and a Shed

Wednesday

“Sasha? Sasha! Where are you?” Charley cried. “I have a surprise,” he continued in a sing song voice.

“In the office, babe,” I responded.

“Could you come out here?”

“Babe, what have you done?” I asked with trepidation.

When I made my way to Charley I saw. “Kittens! You got three kittens?” I exclaimed. Then with increasing alarm, “what were you thinking? We are running a business here.”

“Yeah, I know but they can help. They can keep the pests out the storage building. That would be a good thing right. Protecting the product?”

“Fine. But you are going to the pet store right now. You have to get all the things.”

“The things?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“You know, collars, food dishes, kitten food, all the things.”

“Ok. Ok slow down I’m making a list,” Charlie complained as he typed furiously on his phone.

I looked over his shoulder at the list he was making so far. “Add a littler box. One of those automated ones. I’m not cleaning it out either. Toys and a scratching post of some kind. Please don’t go crazy. Just get these basics.”

“Yeah, yeah. I hear you.”

“Seriously, don’t buy out the store. We have another pick up in two days and we need to have our shit in order.”

“Okay,” Charlie replied, a little dejected. “I know you’re right.”

I gave him a chaste kiss.

“I’ll see you soon,” he called as he headed out.

Fuck, I thought. Three kittens. Dammit, Charley, what the hell? Oh. Oh, they are cute, I decided as I looked down into the box.

“Hello little guys,” I cooed, putting my hand down to attain their approval. They batted and nipped at my fingers. “Yes, yes. You have sharp little kitty claws and sharp little kitty teeth.”

My phone rang. I checked the caller I D and answered. “Hello, Mr. Barker.”

“Now, now my little Sasha, you know you do not have to call me mister. Please, call me Pops. Everyone does, yes?” His voice had been soft but there was an undercurrent of malevolence that made the little hairs on the back of neck rise.

“Oh, um of course…Pops,” I acquiesced.

Barf, gag, brain exploding.

“What can I do for you?” I asked.

“You are picking up a shipment in two days, yes?” He made it a question, even though he knew the answer.

“Yes, sir,” I responded dutifully. “Everything is ready,” I added.

“Good, good. I like this. This is nice to hear,” he allowed. “However, I have problem Sasha,” he complained.

“Problem, sir?” I asked, working to keep my voice steady.

“It is nothing. I am sure we can work out,” he soothed before continuing in a more businesslike tone. “I need to see your storage area. I must personally inspect.”

Working double time to hold back my increasing alarm, I questioned, “personally, sir?”

“Yes, yes. Is no big deal,” he responded nonchalantly. “I inspect all my new, ah, how you say, vendors? Yes, I give all inspection after six months with me.”

“Of, of course sir,” I stuttered, my calm façade slipping. “When would you like to come by?”

“I come after shipment. I inspect. I give instructions. You follow. Everybody is happy. I like happy. Three days, Sasha. I will arrive at eight sharp,” he instructed.

“Yes. Thank you, sir, ah, Pops. See you then,” I agreed.

Just before he hung up, I heard him utter, “yes you will.” It had been oily and quiet. And punctuated with a dark chuckle that caused an involuntary shudder.

Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fire, fuck. My hands shaking, I made a new call.

“CHARLEY!” I shouted. “Where the fuck are you? Get home now,” I demanded, knowing I sounded hysterical but not caring.

“Babe, chill,” he crooned. “What’s happened? I swear if one of them peed on something, I’ll clean it up. I’ve already picked up some special cleaner,” he said, almost jokingly.

“It’s not the damn kittens although that could be a problem soon. Mr. Baker called,” I informed him.

“Okay,” Charley agreed. “No big.”

“He’s coming over in three days to inspect our storage facility.”

“Oh. Fuck,” Charley swore, finally clueing in to my cause for alarm.

“Yes, fuck shit would have also been accepted.”

“I’m in line. I should be home in 20 minutes.”

“Okay. See you then.”

I hung up the phone and grabbed one of the kitties out of the box and began pacing the room, waiting for my husband to return.

“Honey, I’m hoooome,” Charley called out a little mockingly.

“Oh, thank the Zeus. Mr. Baker will be here in three days. What are we going to do? Our dealers aren’t selling enough. We have way too much stockpiled. And we still have another shipment coming,” I babbled.

“We’ll figure it out. I’ll call Mikey Joe,” he offered as he began putting collars on kittens.

“How are we going to tell these three jokers apart?” I enquired.

“The girl has a black spot on her nose and the boys don’t,” Charley stated.

“You, um, poked around down there?” I asked, my eyebrows raised.

“Um, no. Actually, the guy I got them from told me. I’m taking his word for it. Anyway, one of the boys tail ends in black and the other one ends in gray.”

“Great, for now, I’m calling them Spot, Black, and Gray.”

“Spot?” Charley questioned. “You can’t call a cat Spot, that is a dog’s name,” he added.

“Who says? I’m calling her Spot and you can’t stop me,” I retorted. “Although, I’m open to Speck,” I allowed.

“Oh, I like Speck,” Charley said. He picked up the kitten in question.

“Would you wike that whittle baby girl. Speck? Does her like the name Speck?” he crooned while rubbing her belly. “Ahh, she’s purring, I think she does like it.”

“Great,” I said flatly. “Please call Mikey so I can dial my freak out back to something tolerable, like a nine,” I urged.

Charley pulled out his phone. “Siri, call the DJ.”

“He’s in your phone as the DJ?”

“Yes, shhhh, let me finish the call and I’ll explain. Yo, Mikey Joe! What’s the happy haps?” He paused to listen.

“I hear that, I hear that man. Look, we need you to head over asap,” Charley asserted. Then he paused to listen again.

“Cool, cool. See you in thirty.”

He hung up. “See babe, we can fix this. And I met Mikey Joe when that new club opened in Ybor. His card just said The DJ and I couldn’t hear his name that night and I never bothered to update it,” he explained.

“Bet. I’m gonna shower.”

An hour later I was sitting on the couch, combing tangles out of my hair while Charley played with the kittens on the floor.

“When’s he supposed to be here?” I asked, my nerves getting the better of me.

“Half an hour ago. It’s Mikey Joe, you know how he is.”

There was a chime. “Hang on, I just got a text. It’s probably him,” Charley said, looking at his phone. “Yup. He’s going through Taco Bell, you want a nosh?”

“So much,” I happily agreed. “A Mexican pizza and a burrito supreme. Fire sauce.”

My order given, I went to fix up the table so we could eat and chat. The boys could finish figuring out food without me.

“Thanks for coming M J. And bringing food. That hit the spot. I’ll cut to the chase. Sales are lackluster and Mr. Baker is coming by in three days,” I stated. The meal had gone a long way in soothing my frazzled nerves.

“Shit!” Mikey Joe exclaimed. “Okay, okay, okay, okayokayokayokay. We got this,” he said, running his hands through his hair.

Then he jumped up, grabbed a fidget spinner off the counter and, started pacing the kitchen. “Look, you guys have been nothing but good to me. I love being a DJ but Charley taking my card is the best thing that ever happened to me. Working for you guys pays the bills. And Daddy likes his Dolce and Gabbana, ya dig? How much do we need to move?” he queried.

“Can you tap some people to deal?” Charley asked. “I think we need to spread out if we can. Maybe 4 guys,” he proposed.

“Charley!” I exclaimed. “Four, you think we need four more? Mother pus bucket. I had no idea we were that far behind,” I fretted.

“Chill. Everybody chill,” Charley soothed. “I’ve been studying the market and the area.”

“Yuh, yuh, yuh, you’ve been what?” I stuttered. “Who are you and what did you do with Charley?”

He smirked. “Look, babe, I know it’s taken me a while to grow up and get into a groove on this business thing but it sort of clicked the other day and I started putting some stuff together. I was going to talk to you about it but I was waiting for the weekend,” he explained.

Then he turned to Mikey Joe, who had stopped pacing and was leaning against the kitchen counter. “I was going to talk you about it too man, but I was planning to talk to Sasha first. But now Pops called and he wants to come here so let’s do this.”

“Okay, I’m listening,” M J agreed.

“The South is saturated,” Charley said. “I think we can do more business by moving two people East and two people North,” he suggested.

“Guysguysguysguys, guys. Chill. Mikey Joe gots this. I’ve had some people sniffing around. So I checked them out. Not all of them are on the level but I think three of them are really solid. I know time is short. I’m spinning at Corazon tonight. Meet them there. I can tuck you away in a VIP lounge so you can discuss business, no interference. Drop a few bills so the House doesn’t get up in my kool-aid,” M J proposed.

“Okay, I’m blown away by the all the work you guys have already done on this,” I admitted. “Sincere kudos. This sounds great. What time do you go on?”

“I spin at 10. Drop by closer to 11 so I can get the crowd in a good mood and get these people to club,” M J answered.

“I can dig it. See you then, bro,” Charley said, offering the man a fist bump.

Mikey Joe left. We played with the kitties until 10. Then we cleaned up and put on some decent clothes. We did our best to kitten proof the bedroom, shut them in there, and headed out to the club.

Even though we knew Ted working the door, we dropped him $100. It’s important to have people willing to watch your back or look the other way if needed. Once inside, we went straight for the DJ stand.

Mikey Joe pushed one side of his headphones off. “Hey, hey-hey. Sasha. Charley,” he greeted. “Right over there,” he pointed with his chin. “I already prepped them.”

We passed Mikey Joe another hundy and headed across the club to our booth behind the velvet rope.

“Hi. I’m Sasha and this is Charley,” I said, as we slid into the booth.

“Hey, I’m Cherry, a vivacious red-head announced. “And before you ask, yes, it is my real name and yes, just like the fruit. My parents…”

I held up a hand with a smile. “Enough said, totally understand. And you two?”

“G Qunit. I go by G Q for short,” the first guy said.

“And I’m Bobby,” the second guy added.

“Bobby?” Charley asked.

“Yeah, never did the nickname thing. Whatevs,” Bobby shrugged one shoulder.

The waitress came by and popped the cork on the champagne and poured us each a glass.

“Thanks, Lori. Another bottle and then privacy please,” Charley said, as he smoothly handed over another Benjamin.

“Down to business,” I said. “Thanks for meeting us here on short notice. I understand M J already explained what we are here to discuss.”

Two hours later, I was suitably buzzed and we had three new dealers lined up. They followed us to our pad and picked up supplies, promising to return in under 48 hours with payment.

“And now, let’s see what the kittens have been up to this whole time,” I said as I opened the bedroom door.

“Wow. You three are impressive,” Charley snarked. “Babe, I’m sorry. I thought kittens like, napped all day,” he apologized.

We were looking at the shredded remains of every scrap of fabric that had been left in the room. I mean, it was such an extraordinary amount of destruction, I was sure the kittens had held a rager.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, Charley,” I giggled, taking a seat on the bed. “Well, this is our lesson one in kitty parenting.”

Charley joined me on the bed. “At least it looks they are okay with the litter box. I don’t see any, uh, puddles or piles,” he conceded.

“Tomorrow we’ll go back to the pet store and get some things for them to tear up on purpose. For now, let’s get out the spare bedclothes and get some sleep. I really hope these idiots are worn out now,” I said.

Thursday

The next morning, I was surprised and pleased to find the kittens sleeping like angels. Black and Gray had their heads resting on Speck, completely adorable. It was hard to stay mad at Charley for bringing them home.

“Morning, Love, what’s for breakfast?” I asked, poking my hubby in the ribs.

“Mmph mmpup, whagh.”

“Charley, please turn over and take your face out of the pillow. I’ll make omelettes, you feed the psycho kitties,” I offered.

He rolled over and sat up. “Psycho kitties? That seems a little harsh,” he said, as he rubbed sleep out of his eyes.

“Did you hit your head after we cleaned up in here last night?” I asked.

“Oh, that, yeah,” he said through a yawn. “It was a little spirited. I’m sure they were just anxious in a new unfamiliar place. Then he stood. “Come on, psycho kitties, wakey wakey. Follow daddy to breakfast.”

I headed to the kitchen and got out eggs, some left over ham from 2 days prior, salsa, shredded cheddar cheese, and mushrooms. Then I realized I would want home potatoes too so I also got out the potatoes, and went out to the garden to grab some sweet peppers and an onion.

30 minutes later, I had just sat down and was buttering the last piece of toast when Charley joined me, kittens in tow.

“Babe, wow. This looks and smells delicious.”

“You showered?” I asked rhetorically since his hair was still wet.

“Yeah, just needed it to wake up today. What’s on your docket today?”

“I’m going to call the vet for the kitties and work on the books. What about you?”

“I’m going to see if my contact to the north is ready to deal. You going to be okay here with the kids?”

“Yeah, do your thing.”

Okay, honesty hour. I did about 20 minutes of work and then crawled back into bed with the kittens in the hopes of napping. The last 48 hours had been too much. Charley had transformed into a new man, seemingly over night.

It was actually what I had been waiting for from him. I’d know since I’d met Charley that he had it in him. I had just utterly failed to find a way to get him to access it. I guess I was just startled that he got there by himself. Reminder to self: people have to walk their own path or they can’t learn to read a map. That was my last thought before I drifted off.

I dreamed my phone was ringing. Then I sat bolt upright in bed and grabbed my actually ringing phone off the nightstand.

“I’m awake. I mean, hello,” I slurred as I took a second to look at the phone. Charley. “Holy Hephaestus,” I half shouted. “The phone startled the peas out of me.”

“Sash, were you sleeping?” Charley sniggered.

“I, uh, yeah, I wasn’t feeling it and laid down for a nap. Actually, I was sleeping so hard, I was disoriented when I first heard the phone ringing. It sort of melded with my dream and I didn’t even know where I was for a second when I woke up,” I admitted sheepishly.

“That explains the delay - you usually either don’t answer at all and I get voicemail or you answer on the first ring,” Charley said with a light laugh.

“Sorry, babe,” I apologized. “I just, these last few days…”

Charley gently cut me off. “Sash, Sash. Shhh shhh shhh. Babe. Deep breath. I called because I have good news. My contact in the north, is not only ready, he promised a 24 hour turn around.”

That woke me up. “Charley! Really? Oh, Charley, you really are my hero. What can I do for you?”

“I’m getting ready to head home. If you can get groceries and call the vet like you planned, I’ll be back before you know it.”

“I can do that. And Charley, really, I appreciate you.”

“Smooches. Now, let me get off the phone so I can concentrate on the road.”

“Bye, sweetie.”

I looked around and discovered the kittens had found a pillow that was now shreds of fabric and bits of fluff. Speck and Gray were fighting over one scrap and Black was batting a piece of fluff around as it were his prey. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Okay, psycho kitties. That is enough,” I whisper shouted, trying not to laugh, as I began scooping up the frenetic felines.

“I suspect I am not going to be able to hold all three of you at once for very much longer but it is handy at the moment. We are going to have to work on this communication thing. There are other ways to let me know you are hungry. How about ‘meow’ can you try that?”

“I may have lost it kids. I am talking to baby cats. I’m not even sure if that is more or less crazy than talking to myself. Answering myself. That is where the answer lies.”

That was the point I realized I was having a whole conversation with myself and I shut the hell up. I set the kittens up with some food and fresh water. I called the local vet and set an appointment for next week.

They advised me to kittens away from other cats until after the appointment. No problem. Too much on our plate to be seeking kitty play dates at the moment.

After my quick trip to the grocery store, I looked at my watch and realized it had been two hours since I talked to Charley.

“Siri, call,” before I could finish, I heard Charley’s car turning into the driveway and snapped my mouth closed. “Never mind.”

“Sasha?” Charley called out.

“In the kitchen, babe. Putting away groceries. You have great timing. I was just about to call.”

“Why? What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just checking in with you. Still trying to calm down. Even if we get these dealers to push through their sales, I still don’t like the idea of Mr. Baker coming here.”

Charley put down Black and Gray and came up behind me. He enveloped me. Just completely folded himself around me. This was a standard practice. So I could stop and just breathe. And I did. In one…two…three. Out one…two…three. He stayed there until my shoulders finally dropped.

“Thanks,” I whispered. I blew out a final slow breath. “We have about 48 hours until Mr. Baker gets here, give or take. Let’s take a situation inventory,” I suggested.

“One,” Charley began, holding up a single digit. “We need to finish selling at least 75% of our current stock. With our new dealers, that shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll call Mikey Joe later and have him check in on the whole crew and get us numbers. We’ll still have a day to adjust if we are coming in low.”

“Okay,” I agreed. “Product moving. Check.”

“Two,” Charley said, adding another digit to the first. “We need to be ready for our pick up in about thirty hours. Where are we at on that?”

“Oh, we’re good. Even if everyone fails us right now, we got cash for the shipment covered. We’ll be completely flat after that if it comes to that and…”

Charley quickly cut me off. “No worries. We aren’t going to be flat. We have a good crew don’t we? We’ve never let them down and they have always come through for us.”

“You’re right,” I acknowledged. “Okay. What’s three?”

“Three,” Charley announced as a third finger went up. “We need to check the shed and make sure we have everything on the list we got when we started this grand adventure.”

“A, it’s a little big to call it a shed,” I snarked. “And B, I’ve been through it like four times. I’m pretty sure it’s fine.”

“But we’re going through it anyway because we know neither one of us will relax if we don’t.”

I smirked. “You’re right.”

Charley smirked right back at me. “I know. And finally, four,” he added a fourth digit. “We have to have dinner ready for the creepy, greasy, old, weirdo.”

“And five,” I said, taking his raised hand, pulling him to me, and giving him a light kiss. “We have to make sure the kittens are squared away before he gets here. That is one complication we don’t need while he is here.”

“Yes, five, kittens squared. Totally agree. Let’s start knocking shit out. Staying productive will help your nerves,” Charley said.

“Well, I already got groceries for Saturday so we are good there. Let’s go over the list for product storage. That way, if we need anything we can go shopping tomorrow before our shipment arrives.”

“Sounds good. I’ll grab the keys , you grab the list, meet you at the shed,” Charley said, giving me a salute.

Ten minutes later, we were unlocking the shed. Curiously, we had independently each brought a kitten with us. Charley was holding Black, I had Speck, and Gray was hot on my heels.

“Well, I guess Gray is up for guard duty,” Charley commented.

“Yeah, let’s just get in there and go through the list. I want to get this over with. You are totally right, I’ll be stressed until we finish this.”

“Keep your panties on,” he teased. “This is the last lock.” He opened the door and flicked on the lights.

I handed him a clipboard that had the list and pen clipped to it. “Okay. Two locks on the door, one digital and one mechanical.”

“Check,” Charley noted, marking the page with a flourish.

“All lights on one switch,” I pointed to it.

“Check.”

“HVAC to keep the temperature and humidity low.”

“Check.”

“Product inventory, both paper and digital.”

“Weird that he wants it on paper but, check.”

“All shelves have separate locks with different physical keys.”

“Check. Okay, that’s it for in here.” Charley looked around the space and pointed. “What about the safe? The list says it should be in the house.”

“I know. But I spoke with a few security experts before having it installed. There is certain amount of time that thieves will spend on trying to crack a safe. If they fail, they do one of two things: try to take the whole thing and open it later, or try to destroy the lock,” I explained.

“Okay, still not understanding why not in the office.”

“For our safety. Whether they are trying to crack it, carry it away, or break it, they are going to be under stress and that makes them more likely to react violently if caught in the act,” I said.

“Makes sense.”

“Hence, the extra large size on this one,” I continued. “Little to no chance someone will try to cart the whole thing off.”

“Now I’m the one who is impressed, babe. We are a really good team. Back to the list. Oh, the rest of this stuff is for outside of here. Wait, why isn’t there an alarm system on the shed door?”

“Oh, there is, of sorts. Just not one that calls a security company or the cops. Let’s head to the office and I’ll show you the rest.”

The kittens had been skittering around under the shelves in the shed but they came running when we shut off the lights. Returning to the house, we made our way to the office and I fired up the laptop and motioned Charley to sit down.

“First, there are cameras and motion detector lights pointed at every inch of the outside of the shed. The cameras record three versions at all times. Regular, night vision, and infrared. All the files are stored on a secure server that is here in the closet and the files are encrypted. The lights send me a text and are logged on the laptop every time they are triggered. The cameras inside the shed are activated by motion and also send me a text when they are triggered,” I rattled off.

“Jebus Cripes on a cracker. It all sounds slicker than owl snot.”

“Owl snot?” I questioned with a giggle.

“Yeah, I blanked,” Charley admitted. “This is bananapants.”

“Maybe, but I wasn’t taking any chances. Check the list. Most of it is what Mr. Baker requested anyway. I just added a few things.”

Charley looked down at the clipboard. “Check. Check. And check. Your right. Except for putting the safe in the shed, you’ve done everything just as he outlined.” He paused and then asked, “you don’t think he’ll be pissed about the safe?”

“I can’t imagine he would be. It keeps us protected as well and with all the other precautions in place, I don’t know how it could be more secure,” I stated firmly. It was one of the points I felt confident of since I had done a lot of research.

“If you say so, dude gives me the willies. If we weren’t just starting out and learning the biz, I’d be trying to get out from under him in a heartbeat.”

“Same,” I agreed wholeheartedly.

Then Charley chased me into the bedroom. He started a round of foreplay that led to really incredible sex. When I headed for the bathroom to clean up, he followed me into the shower.

I started the foreplay for round two. It was only fair, after all. And shower sex is a favorite a mine. Getting his motor running was a great way to ensure he’d indulge me. Some cleaning may have happened but most of what we did was very, very dirty.

We wrapped ourselves in towels and stumbled back to the bedroom. I fell onto the bed in a heap and Charley laid down next to me.

“Imma need a minute to recover. I’m boneless,” I announced.

“You? You need a minute?” He spluttered. “You orgasmed so hard it felt like being milked. Don’t get me wrong, you know I love it, but I need a minute to recover too.”

“Yeah, that was, yeah,” I murmured.

“We needed that. And the kittens shredded another pillow.”

“Psycho kitties strike again,” I lamented. “We’ve got to get some more toys and stuff for them. What time is it anyway?”

Charley checked his phone. “Seven. I’m ordering a door dash feast. I’m starving and I don’t feel like cooking, do you?”

“Go for it,” I encouraged. “I’m feeding the psycho kitties. Let’s look at kitty entertainment options after dinner.”

“Groovy. Food will be here in 45” he announced. “You wanna watch some TV?”

“Sure, whatever. I’m still enjoying my afterglow,” I said dreamily.

After dinner, we were still both pretty spent so we just relaxed in bed with the kitties, watching old movies. We pushed off the pet store trip to Friday and we both dozed off draped in kittens. The next morning, I woke to sound of my alarm.

Friday

I yawned, sat up, and worked to clear the fog of sleep. “Mmmm, it’s a bit sad that we can’t have anything soft in here for the kitties,” I noted.

Charley seemed to be in about the same place as I was since he was yawning too. “Yeah,” he said, the back of his hand over his mouth. “I’m curious as to why they leave our bedclothes alone now but I think I’ll just remain in ignorance and hope it stays that way.”

“Same. Alright. Let’s lay out the day over breakfast. There are a few moving pieces but all can be kept well away from one another if we plan well.”

“You are a good planner, babe,” Charley agreed. “So what’s for breakfast?”

“Um, about that,” I hedged. “Would you please get donuts?”

Charley arched an eyebrow at me. “Mrs. Kay’s?”

“Of course Mrs. Kay’s.”

“Dozen?” He asked with a smile, as he got out of bed and went to get dressed.

“Might as well if you are driving over,” I said shrugging one shoulder.

“Truth. I’ll be back in, oh hell, who knows? You know how that place can get.”

“Smooches,” I said, following the word with an actual kiss. “You know I love you, right? And not just because you get me donuts and have all my favorites memorized.”

“I love you so much, I’m going to get you coffee too,” Charley said half jokingly.

“Coffee too? I don’t deserve you.” I might have sounded flippant but I truly meant it.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re lucky no one else is here. This is getting a bit sappy, even for me, and you know I’ve always been the softie between us.”

“Hurry back,” I directed, swatting his backside. “I still love you but I’m hungry.”

“Point made,” Charley said, as he grabbed his keys from the dresser and headed for the door.

While he was out getting donuts and coffee, I ran through the shower and fed the kittens. I was in the living room, browsing for cat toys when Charley got back.

“Hey there,” he said, setting the box down on the coffee table next the laptop. “The crullers are freshest. Here’s your coffee.”

“Thanks, babe,” I said, selecting a cruller with orange dream frosting. “Kitties are fed and I’m researching toys in the hopes of saving the remaining pillows and throws in the house.”

“Alright,” Charley said, grabbing a chocolate old fashioned as he took a seat beside me on the couch. “So, we have to hook up with the new dealers. See how they handle pressure. Our pick up isn’t until 11 so no issues there,” he noted, kicking off our day planning session.

“We have to get some more kitty things. I’m hoping we can find a way to keep them from Mr. Baker for now - without sacrificing the rest of the fabric throughout the house,” I said a little sourly. Wanting Charley to know I did accept the kittens, even if they were a struggle to adjust to I added, “I believe we can train the kittens to be useful someday, but I don’t think they are quite ready for that.”

“Preach,” he agreed.

“I’m thinking a late lunch, here, to meet up with the new dealers, if we can get them wrangled. It’s a short timeline but we might as well see how these four are going to shake out sooner rather than later,” I suggested.

“You think it is a good idea to do that with all four of them here at once?” Charley questioned.

“Not really, but we are short on time. Plus, I want everyone to be friendly. We aren’t going to let this devolve into a deadly competition of some kind.”

“I’m cool with following your lead for this meeting,” Charley said. “You know how to signal me if you want me to step in,” he added.

As I was busy cramming about ½ a donut in mouth, I just raised my eyebrows and then gave him a thumbs up.

“After that, we just have to secure our shipment,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said around the last bite of donut. Then held up a finger so I could take a quick swallow of coffee and finish my thought. “Then tomorrow, we have clean the house, secure the kitties, and prepare Mr.Baker the dinner he requested. I would ask how we ever got hooked up with a such a disagreeable man but I think we both know and neither wants a reminder.”

Reaching out to give my hand a squeeze, Charley said “Truth. So, can we change the subject and lighten up the heavy a bit?”

“Yeah. I’m done for now,” I said, dusting crumbs off my hands.

“Sooooo, how were the donuts?” He prodded.

I was about the answer when Charley’s phone began to ring. I could hear Mikey Joe screaming as soon as he picked up.

“Calm down, bro. Take a deep breath,” Charley soothed. “What’s up?”

As he listened, he looked more and more alarmed.

“A DUI? What the hell, M J? I thought you said these guys were solid, how bad is it?”

This time as he listened, his alarm diminished slightly.

"Okay, chief, hang tight. Since Bobby was clean when they picked him up we can deal with this.”

I was already scrolling through my contacts to find Brian’s number. Brian being our lawyer. The man was a magician.

“Sasha is calling our lawyer. He should have Bobby out in no time. Text the station details to her and we’ll check in with you in hour. In the mean time, get those other two on the phone. We’re all going to meet at our pad at…” Charley looked at me and I did some quick calculations in my head and held up 7 fingers.

“Seven. We’re all going to meet here at seven. We’ll take care of Bobby and food, you get the others here,” he said into the phone.

Then he listened for a few moments. “Alright, see you then,” he said as he hung up.

My hands were shaking. “Charley?” I whispered, desperation clear in my voice and body language.

“It will be fine. I’ll call Brian,” he reassured and drew me into a hug, resting his head on my shoulder. “Did Mikey Joe send over the details yet?” he asked.

I turned in his arms and snuggled in front of him. Drawing up my phone, seeing the text from M J, I silently handed it over. Charley released me and got down to the business of dealing with our lawyer.

I went to find a kitten. I was a bit alarmed by how quickly I had learned to turn to the kittens for comfort but again, I was glad Charley had brought them home. As I padded back into the kitchen holding Black and Gray, I heard Charley giving relevant details to Brian and breathed a sigh of relief as I slid into a kitchen chair.

“Brain, thanks. I knew we could count on you. Please call or text Sasha or myself if anything.” Charley hung up and looked down at me with a gentle smile. “See, babe? No worries. Now we are free until seven and Brian will handle the Bobby situation.”

I put the kittens down and stood up into Charley’s enveloping hug. “You wanna shower before we go?” I asked him.

My shoulders relaxed and he released me. “Nah, I’ll hit it later. Let’s put the kittens away and then go see what we can find to entertain them,” he offered.

“Sounds good. I’m giving them everything they already shredded. I don’t know what is keeping them from slicing up the pillows and covers on our bed after that first time but I’m hoping if they still have other stuff, our luck will hold there.”

After we got the kittens settled, we headed over to the pet store. An hour later we were laden with a few hundred dollars of scratching posts, a pile of cat toys, treats, and a second littler box.

“Now what, babe? I may have eaten so many donuts I’m not nearly ready for lunch,” I admitted. “And we have several hours before we meet with Mikey and the gang.”

“Let’s just take a walk on the beach. Maybe we’ll just snack later since we are going to feed those jokers around 7,” Charley suggested.

“Sounds good. You drive?” I asked as I held up my keys.

“I’ve got mine,” he responded. And we were off.

Wandering the beach was the perfect distraction. After we walked up and down the beach a bit and checked out the tide pools, we just sat down and zoned out while the waves rolled in and out. Washing my troubles away. Just as I was feeling peace blossom in my soul, my phone chimed to indicate a text.

“Shit,” I swore as I read the message. “Problems with Bobby. Brian says he can fix it but he can’t get him out today. He won’t be able to get him released until Monday. Something about juvie and the weekend.”

Charley was silent for a moment. Then he growled. “I’m going to have words with Mikey about this,” he vowed.

“No, Charley, it’s fine,” I insisted. “Mikey can’t have known. Those records are generally sealed. We can drop the dude if he’s going to be a problem. Right now, we just have to focus on getting through our pick up and satisfying Mr. Baker,” I stated, glad the ocean had calmed me.

“Okay. Sorry. You’re right. I just don’t like problems and we’ve kept things really smooth so far,” Charley complained.

“There are always going to be problems. We both need to get used to that because it is up to us to keep our crew in shape. And in this business, we can’t count on angels for dealers,” I noted.

“Truth. Well, it’s about four. Head home and set up the new cat stuff before dinner?”

“Please?”

“And we never got our snack,” Charley reminded me. “You hungry?”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “What sounds good?”

“There are some food trucks over there,” Charley said, pointing. “Let’s see what we can find.”

“You’re on.”

“Oh, Mac and cheese. That sounds good.”

“But maybe a little heavy right now,” I hedged.

“They are food trucks. They don’t exactly serve sunshine and unicorn tears,” Charley joked.

“Okay, okay. Give me half a second to look. Oh. Wow. They have all kinds of mac and cheese. Mother pus bucket. Now I can’t think of anything but that,” I complained. “You order. I need to review this whole menu.”

Charley laughed. “Alright. May I please get one buffalo mac bowl and…” he paused and looked at me.

“Fried chicken mac,” I said tentatively.

“Fried chicken mac,” Charley repeated with conviction.

We waited nearby while they put our food together. When they called us, I handed the woman two twenties and told her to keep the change. It was an outrageous tip but it smelled so delicious, I was sure it would be worth it. We got home by five.

Charley groaned. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to eat with the gang. You want to try this buffalo mac before I finish inhaling it?”

“Go ahead. I’m in the same place with this miracle in a paper bowl. I have a feeling we will be back to that truck,” I said, patting my stomach.

As soon as we finished our snack slash dinner we started setting up the new kitty city.

“Charley, what do you think? Living room or our bedroom for this taller one?”

He pondered my question for a moment. “Let’s put all but one in the bedroom for now. After we are done with Mr. Baker, we can reassess. But I think we should put one in the shed. I do really want them to be on pest control when they’re ready. Seems like we might as well get them used to hanging out in there now,” he suggested.

“The kittens are your project so I’ll follow your lead on this. Your plan sounds solid. We can put the second litter box out there. That first one was a really good choice, by the way. No smell. I didn’t think it was possible.”

“Well, they aren’t cheap but it’s the auto cleaning every time it gets used and auto sealing the waste. You think he’ll want to check every inch of the shed or can we get away with putting a few things in the back?”

“He’s going to see them for sure if they are in the house. I think we can get away with putting them at the back of the shed, and if he doesn’t like it, we’ll fix it and move on.”

“I’ll buy that for a dollar,” Charley agreed.

Once we got everything into at least its temporary place, we laid down on the couch like a couple of slugs, watching TV. I don’t think our day had been that exhausting up to that point, it was more the continued cumulative effect of getting ready for this stupid visit. I knew we had good numbers overall. This current slump was nothing. Mr. Baker poking around was unnecessary.

“I’m going to grab a drink, you want something?” I asked.

“Mmmmmm, could I please have a Sprite on ice?”

Charley was sending a text as I got back with drinks.

“Mikey Joe he announced he’s on his way with GQ and Cherry,” he explained.

“Groovy. Who’s your guy? I forgot to ask his name.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize I didn’t tell you. You won’t believe me. Tony.”

I couldn’t hold a burble of laughter. “As in, say hello to my little friend, one of our dealers is named Tony?”

“Something like that. His last name isn’t Montana or anything and I have known him most of my life. We went different directions after high school. Geographically I mean.”

“If you trust him, I’m cool with it. I trust your judgement. But we’re going to add a layer to our background checks after this Bobby shit,” I noted.

“We shouldn’t have rushed the situation,” Charley said.

“I got too nervous when that oily bastard said he had to come here,” I admitted.

“We both freaked out. It’s a lesson. We are learning it and we won’t have to repeat it.”

I nodded my agreement. “I’m going to DoorDash a Chipotle feast for 8 p m. That will give everyone time to be late, get here anyway, and get settled.”

“Everything else ready for our last stop of the evening?” Charley queried.

“Yeah. We can suit up and head out as soon as M J and the others clear the street,” I confirmed.

“In that case, can we please just chill?”

“We can completely just chill.”

I finished entering the food order and settled down to watch a little TV while we waited for Mikey Joe and the others. I didn’t even notice what was on. The kittens were exploring the new things we had gotten them. I moved over and snuggled into Charley’s arms and just enjoyed the peace while I could.

The next thing I knew I was getting a text from GQ that he was about five minutes out. As the first to arrive, I told him he could park in the driveway. The others would have to spread out.

“Babe, GQ is almost here. Text Tony, Mikey Joe and Cherry and get an ETA, please,” I requested.

Before Charley could even get out his phone, I was getting another text.

“Ah, just Tony and Mikey Joe. Cherry just checked in. I’m sending her parking instructions now. She’s going to park in back,” I noted.

“Oh, I already heard from Tony. He’s parking at the church a block over.”

“How is M our most solid dude but also the dude who is always late?” I asked.

“We all have our strengths and weaknesses,” Charley said, shrugging.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, smart ass. Just answer the door. I’m going to rearrange a few things in the living room so we can sit in there until we eat.”

Charley flipped me off over his shoulder as he went to open the door. Whatever. I pulled out the ice bucket, glasses, and a variety of drinks and was setting things up as Charley and G Q came in and seated themselves at the table. I had thought we were going to start in the living room but okay. And someone was knocking on the back door. Had to be Cherry so I went to greet her.

“Oh, hello,” I said, hiding surprise. “You must by Tony?”

“Yeah, Charley here?”

“Right this way. Everyone’s getting set up at the table in here.”

Before I could even get the door closed I heard a car door. There’s Cherry. At least something seems to be going right today, I thought. Now we just needed Mikey Joe and we’d be set.

When everyone was seated I kicked things off. “I think we all know each other except for Tony.”

Tony tilted his head in acknowledgment and offered a little wave.

“Hi, Cherry. Yes really,” she said, her standard introduction.

“G Qunit. Go by G Q,” he followed suit.

Charley held up his hand. “Mikey just texted. He’s walking over. Should be at the back door any moment. Which is good as we have some things to discuss in addition to tonight’s exchange.”

“And food will be here in,” I looked at my watch, “about 30 minutes.”

I went to open the door, checking before I opened it to ensure it was M J, it was. Giving him a half hug hand shake. Then I pointed at the table. “Hey M J. Please have a seat.”

We got settled and I took a deep breath and blew it out. “First, I want to thank you guys for being on time,” I said, with a pointed look at Mikey Joe, who blushed and looked down.

“Hey, my parents raised me right, and being punctual was very important to them,” G Q said.

“And I’m just a planner. With my name, I always had to try to extra hard to get people to take me serious, ya know? So, same as G Q, I always make every effort to be on time, make a good impression,” Cherry explained.

“And we give Mikey a pass because he handles a lot of a B S for us. At any rate, bigger problem, Bobby was arrested on a DUI early this morning,” I revealed. That drew the predictable gasps and swearing and I help up my hand to halt the tirade. “We are handling it. He was clean when he was picked up. We have a lawyer on retainer and he’s going to have him out ASAP,” I reported.

“And we’re not pinning his poor behavior on you guys but let’s lay this out now. We run a clean crew. It’s a dirty business and a good way to get dead in a hurry,” Charley said.

I picked up where he left off. “That’s why we give you the damn specialized bullet protection. Collectively, we all have to keep our noses clean. Heat on one of us could easily open Pandora’s jar and then we are all in a concrete 12 by 12 avoiding Bubba’s affections, or worse.”

“I hear you woman but what can we do?” G Q asked reasonably.

My phone pinged and I glanced at the notification, door dash. I showed it to Charley and pointed my chin at my purse on the counter. He got the message and went to get the food.

“Good question, G Q,” I said with an approving nod. “Openness and honesty. This is like a relationship, we all have to keep the lines of communication open and be truthful. Keep your nose clean. We know shit happens. What really fucked us in the Bobby situation was some juvie thing I don’t even have the details on. And I don’t care. I don’t care about the skeletons in your closet but we all have to have all our cards on the table or we can’t help you,” I asserted.

“Okay, I’m mowin’ what you're growin’,” G Q said. “You aren’t going to go all parental on us, are you? Because I already have overbearing parents,” he went on, lightening the mood a little.

Charley had set all the food across the kitchen counter and I didn’t know I could eat again already until I smelled it.

“No, no, nothing like that,” Charley reassured. “Neither Sasha nor myself want to be micromanagers or helicopter parents. Just let us know if there is anything in your past that might become a future problem. Maybe we can smooth it out. Maybe we can’t. But forewarned is forearmed and that’s what we need,” he explained.

I stood and motioned the others to follow my lead and make a plate for themselves.

“You don’t have to divulge anything here and now. Just soon,” I said as everyone began getting food. “We’re also going to be working on some way to organize a buddy system or a phone tree or something. If something even seems like it might be going sideways, I want to have a backup network available. We haven’t had any incidents yet but this thing with Bobby has been eye opening.”

“She’s right,” Charley agreed. “We’re taking this an opportunity to step up our game. Back in sec. Tony and I are going to handle his exchange now so we don’t end up swarming the shed like drone bees.”

“For now, everyone please dig in. We intended this partially as a welcome dinner. Things went a bit sideways and I apologize for that,” I said sincerely.

“Look, we all know shit happens. If you want help organizing anything, let me know. I’m good at that,” Cherry offered.

“Thanks, Cherry. Charley and I have another appointment tonight and the big man is stopping by tomorrow. After that, we’ll have a look at things and I’ll give you a call.”

“And my parents manage a chain of mobile phone shops. If we are careful, I can run burners through there so we always have freshies,” GQ threw in.

“Wow, GQ, that’s great. I wasn’t intending to dump this on you guys but I’m glad you’re here.”

Charley and Tony were back from their business transaction. They loaded their plates and dug in.

“Now that we’ve got everyone here, I wanted to say thank you to everyone. M J, you got us three dealers in a hurry and two of them worked out great. We can discuss Bobby later. I’m not upset anymore. GQ, Cherry, Tony, how were sales?” I asked.

“Dude, this is the real, real, not the hook ‘em high stuff?” G Q questioned.

“Yeah,” Charley confirmed. “The shit is high end. We don’t bother with bait and switch.”

“I don’t use, anymore. But I have a guy I trust to be a tester for me and he said it was really good. Buyers are loving it. I sold out a few hours ago and I have some calls to return,” G Q reported.

“I have a dabble left but I have half a dozen med students to visit too,” Cherry said.

“I’m closer to Orlando. And your shit sold like ice in the desert,” Tony added.

“And you know I sold my stash, have I ever failed you there?” M J asked with a smile.

“Excellent. Sincerely, everyone,” Charley said gratefully. “We’ll continue the shed exchanges with G Q next, then Mikey. I’ll walk Cherry to her car last. What you guys did in the last two days is beyond good. Don’t take more than you can move in a week. I know that means a lot of visits here but it keeps your risk lower,” he directed.

The dealing chat died down after that. Everyone finished eating and promised to stay in touch and we told Mikey we would catch up with him after Mr. Baker left tomorrow. Now it was time to get ready for our pick up.

“That went well,” Charley commented.

“Let’s hope the next part of our day does too,” I said.

We were pulling on our bullet proof gear. I had found them before we even started working for Mr. Baker. They were like turtlenecks crossed with kevlar vests. In addition to the chest and back protection of your typical vest, there were thin, protective fibers woven into the arms and neck material meaning far less exposure.

They might not stop an armor piercing round but it was a hell of a lot better than nothing. Once we were dressed for success, we headed to the shed with two backpacks and loaded them with bricks of cash. The backpacks were far less likely to draw attention than a briefcase or black rectangular duffel bags.

Once outfitted, we jumped in the Cayenne and headed over to the movie theater. A lot of people think drug deals all happen in dark alleys or under the docks. Dumb. Far better to go somewhere crowded where it is common for people to meet up.

Since this was a late meeting, the theater was perfect. We had picked up from this guy before and there were no problems but you just never know. Charley made a quick stop near the entrance and I dug through the trash for a cash receipt for the 8:30 show. It only took me about 30 seconds to score, thank Zeus. I jumped back in the SUV.

“Charley, I don’t know if I told you this yet but, I’m glad you got the kittens.”

“Really, you aren’t mad?”

“It wasn’t ideal timing maybe but I am very quickly warming to the idea. And the comfort they provide.”

“Even when they are psycho kitties?”

“Ah, even when they are I suppose,” I said with a chuckle. “Oh, that’s a perfect spot.” I pointed then looked at my watch. “And our timing is perfect. A movie just let out about 5 minutes ago and another one will be letting out in another 20 or so.”

“Killer,” Charley said as he pulled into the spot.

Then he shut off the SUV and we sat in comfortable silence and waited. Before too long, a black SUV backed up to ours and I was glad there were people coming and going everywhere. I saw Brad and his partner, whose name I didn’t know, get out and I unlocked the back doors so they could get in.

We silently handed over our backpacks and waited while they emptied them out into their own bags. Everyone in our crew and theirs did this bit without talking. We needed the people in the parking lot with us to disguise our meeting but we didn’t need anyone hearing us saying anything.

Once our payment was verified, we all got out and transferred the boxes from their SUV to ours. And that was it. We got back in the Cheyenne and headed home, careful to attract no attention for going too fast or too slow. After we got home, we moved the product to the shed, updated the inventory and headed to bed.

“Well, well, well. Look who seems to be enjoying their new toys,” Charley said as he leaned down to pick up Black.

Through a yawn, all I could manage was, “yay.”

I crawled into bed and Charley was right behind me. I turned to face him and asked “Hold me?”

Charley didn’t hesitate, he just opened his arms and I turned my back to him and snuggled in as he wrapped his powerful arms around me. I forgot the world existed and fell asleep.

Saturday

I awoke to a kitten on my head and one on my chest. I looked over and Speck was kneading Charley’s back.

“Ok kids. Clearly you are ready for breakfast,” I whispered.

I padded into the kitchen, flipped on the coffee maker and got started fixing up breakfast for the kitties. Before I was done, Charley had snuck up behind me and twirled me in his arms until I was facing him and laid a wet sloppy kiss on me. After I had a second to regain my balance, I returned his passion with gusto.

When we came up for air I said, “somebody’s in a good mood this morning.”

“Yes I am,” Charley said playfully. “What do you say we hop in the shower together and get dirty before we get clean?”

“I say you get the water started, I’m grabbing fresh towels.”

45 minutes later we were both laying on our bed, catching our breath after some incredibly vigorous morning shower sex followed by a minimal wash up.

“Do I even want to know what’s got your motor running at redline this morning?” I asked.

“Just feeling really good about things. I know we have the Bobby issue, and Mr. Creepy tonight, but everything is really good right now.”

“What have you got to distract me today until about, say, 6?” I asked. Before Charley could respond, I explained further. “I figure two hours is about all the time I can spend cooking and cleaning to get ready for him or I’ll go totally bonkers. And I don’t want to obsess over it all day. Need a distraction.”

“HP marathon?” Charley suggested.

“Totes. Are we too nerdy?” I queried.

“No such thing.” Charley waved away the notion. “Grab the couch blankets. I’m going to make snack breakfast.”

“Snack breakfast?” I questioned.

“No spoilers. Scoot,” he said, swatting my bottom. “Get the first movie started. I should be able to join you by the time they are coming back from the zoo.”

“Yes, dear,” I mocked.

Snack breakfast was enough to shut my happy ass up. I went to do just as Charley asked and, two shakes later, I was watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. The smells coming from the kitchen had my mouth watering.

Charley was a bit later than his suggested timeline but based on the spread he laid out before me, I could not complain. He had come in with coffee just a few minutes into the show before going back to work on his masterpiece.

I surveyed the offerings. There was a fresh carafe included with the pile of delicious too! Bacon straws. Croissant bites, plain. Some with egg and cheese. Home potatoes. Where had he gotten the melon? When had he gotten the melon?

I decided not to care when I popped a juicy chunk in my mouth. Wow. Perfect. Ranch dressing for some reason, I’ll have to ask about that. Corn tortillas. Scrambled salsa eggs. Some kind of mini sausage links. Other various condiments. I finally took my eyes off the food and looked over at Charley. And he was amused.

“Sorry.” I blushed. “I had to take it all in and I just got lost there for a moment. I want to gush but I want to start snacking. Thanks, Charley. Really. How? This is…”

Charley cut off my rambling by putting his finger on my lips. “Shhhh, shhhhh, shhhh. I know how you feel. You don’t have to tell me every time, not that I don’t love hearing it.”

“Ok. Just one question.”

“Yes?”

“Um, what’s up with the ranch dressing?”

“Oh,” he laughed darkly, “you just wait. Or use your imagination. But I do have a plan for that.”

I started loading up a plate with a few bites of, well, everything I couldn’t decide and really wanted to try it all. I looked over at my man and there he was, crumbling a bacon straw over the home potatoes. Now I got the ranch dressing. I wasn’t sure about the combo but I was definitely going to steal a bite from him.

For the next several hours, we ate, watched HP movies, flirted like teenagers, played with kittens, and just generally had a chill day. Six o’clock came all too soon. But hopefully after this we could go back to having a more long distance relationship with Mr. Baker.

I stood, stretching and said, “Okay, I know you made snack breakfast and it lasted us all day but I have to make that bastard a lasagna and if I don’t start now, it won’t be done on time. I need you to please either start cleaning or start washing the veggies for the salad. Oh, or, um, could you please pick up that ‘take and bake’ garlic bread from the place down the street? It’s the only thing that needed to be really, really fresh,” I babbled.

“I got it. No worries. I’ll clean when I get back and we can do the salad last. That way the veggies will still be crisp and fresh.”

I tackled him on the couch and smooched him. Wet. Sloppy. Quick.

“Food for thought,” I said as I hopped back up. “That was both a thank you and a preview. See you when you get back.”

He pinched my butt, winked at me and sauntered out the door, jingling his keys.

Time flew by after that. Before I knew it, the lasagna was in the oven and so were the potatoes. Everything for the salad was ready to be tossed. The garlic bread was ready to go into the preheated oven.

The house was clean and the table was set. The kittens were napping in the shed. There was nothing in there that they could hurt, that I could think of anyway. They are impressive at destruction.

It was simple meal but fortunately, it was what the creepy old fucker wanted. I was just finishing my makeup when Charley stepped out of the bathroom.

“Let me see it all,” I said, as I spun my finger in the air indicating he should let give me twirl. He obliged and because he was the man I love, he stopped with his back to me and did several poses so I could ogle his booty. I wolf whistled. “Well. Done.”

“You too. New outfit?”

“Yeah.” I mock shivered. “For once I wanted less skin showing. At least if he touches me, he’ll mostly get my clothes and not me.”

Charley looked at his watch and said, “any minute now. I do know he’s punctual to the minute when he can be.”

I got up and we headed into the living room together to be ready to greet him as soon as he rang the bell. He was also an incredibly impatient old jerk. Two minutes later, the doorbell rang. Charley and I looked at each other, silently checking each other’s fake smile and, with a nod, he opened the door.

“Mr.Baker. Welcome to our home. Please come in. Allow me to take to your coat,” Charley offered.

“Now, Charles, you call me Pops too, yes. I like this. Okay?” he chirped in greeting as he took off his coat and held it out for Charley to take.

To his credit, my husband didn’t display his displeasure at being called Charles at all, even though he usually had a melt down over it. It was a sensitive spot for him.

“Mr. I mean, Pops, welcome. Good evening. No trouble finding us?” I asked.

He grabbed me and forced me into a European style greeting, actually kissing each cheek before releasing me and saying, “Sasha. Sasha. I’m so happy to see you both.”

I resisted the urge to wipe my cheeks and almost let out an audible squeak when he grabbed Charley and did the same to him. Charley handled it well but, damn, this was shaping up into a long night.

“Did you want a glass of wine before dinner?” I asked.

“Regrettably, I cannot stay as I would like this evening. I have a late flight. Private, yes. But when I give my pilot a schedule, I keep to it. Pinot Noir with dinner of course, yes?”

“Yes. I wasn’t sure of your preference but I have a few selections,” I said. Then I turned to Charley, “would you please get Pops settled and I’ll be back with wine in two shakes of a lambs tail.”

Ugh. Okay, as soon as I was a going a different direction, I finally wiped my cheeks. I grabbed our three best bottles of Pinot Noir and headed out to the dining room. I handed the wine off to Charley, he was better at explaining the differences if needed. I was relieved to return to the kitchen to put the finishing touches on dinner. Deep breath. Almost there.

By the time I made it to the dining room, Charley and Mr. Baker were chatting like old pals. I was happy to play the 1950’s house wife and make silent trips back and forth until the meal was completely set. No one slapped my ass which I thought was a bonus. As I sat down I offered, “may I top off your wine?” Charley shook his head.

“No, thank you my dear. I savor one glass. This is a fine bottle. You choose well,” Pops complimented.

“Ah, Charley chose well. He’s our wine expert,” I corrected.

“Well, I wouldn’t say expert,” Charley hedged. “I just know what I enjoy.”

After that, we ate and the men folk continued their chat. I remained happy to be left out. The simple meal was perfect. Fine. Score one for the old man.

“I have tiramisu. I know you didn’t request it but, it’s Charley’s favorite,” I said.

“No, no my Sasha. Your kindness is too much. He tapped his watch, not this night. We must move on to business. Please, to the storage facility?” His tone had been light but the undercurrent of command was clear.

“You guys head that way,” I suggested. “I’ll just put our plates in the sink and grab your jacket, Pops. I’ll be right behind you.”

I breathed a sigh of relief as I went to take care of things. One thing done. Two more stops. He approves the shed, he approves the office. We’re done. They had just stepped into the shed when I caught up with the them.

“Locks are perfect. Excellent. Lights. You followed the list, yes?” Pops commented. “Okay, I’m fairly satisfied so far. Now I taste one batch. Any,” he requested.

“Um, sure of course.” Charley was scrambling but he recovered quickly. “One moment and Sasha will unlock one of the storage cabinets. Right this way.”

My mind whirled. Shit, shit, shit. We don’t have any of the trappings of use. We are strictly middle men. It was a good gig. Still high risk but also high reward. The kittens were bound to wake up if they hadn’t already. Shit fuck fire.

I finished unlocking the cabinet, grabbed a brick, and relocked the cabinet. Charley was explaining his pest control plan and it seemed Pops liked cats. Thank Zeus. I loved those little idiots. Ok. Game face.

I handed the package to Mr. Baker and he gave it a sniff and then laid it on the desk.

“My apologies, Pops, sir. We don’t have any, that is to say, we didn’t know…”

He cut me off. “That I would want to be sure my product was making it cleanly all the way to the streets?” he asked with an arched eyebrow.

I opened my mouth to reply but Mr. Baker held up a hand and I snapped it shut.

“Is fine,” he conceded gruffly. “I should have detailed.”

He reached into an interior coat pocket and pulled out a small black case. He proceeded to cut open the brick with a razor from the case. Then he dipped in his finger and rubbed it on his gums.

“Good, good. Exactly as it left factory. Some people try to cheat me you know. But quality is key.” It was said with relative good nature but the implied message was clear.

He put away his case. Wow, that was it? I wasn’t going to complain. I just thought there would be more to it. He clapped his hands and then indicated the entirety of the space.

“Please, show me the rest.”

Now my heart was beginning to pound in my chest. He was going to see the safe soon and I knew I had gone out on limb there. Charley and I were taking turns pointing out the cameras and controls and such. And then we got to the safe and he stopped.

“Tell me about the safe. I do not like. Explain,” he commanded.

I had been prepared for this and I gave him the same explanation I had given Charley. I saw his face move from a tinge of anger and a heavy dose of skepticism to slightly receptive. I’d take it.

“I will consider. I am back from Columbia in two weeks, I tell you then. I decide no, you change. Capiche?” Pops said menacingly.

“Yes, sir.” I almost winced as Charley and I answered in unison.

Dude could go from creepy grandpa to scary bastard in a heartbeat. We turned to complete our circuit and head inside when three balls of fur and claws fell on Mr. Baker from the top of a storage cabinet.

Mr. Baker was screaming shrilly, trying to get the kitten to stop their assault but with three of them he just couldn’t get anywhere. He quickly lost his balance as he was trying to get Speck off his back. He sort of crumpled down and then unfolded as he continued to try to rid himself of the attacking psycho kitties.

Charley and I were both screaming and trying to get a hand in the tangle without ending up on floor ourselves. All of a sudden Mr. Baker let out a loud grunt and went still, his arms fell away. The movement seemed to startle the kittens and they ran off and began chasing each other around the perimeter of the shed.

“What in the fuck is going on here?” I shrieked at Charley, as if this was his planned part of the evening.

He just looked at me and shrugged helplessly. I took a breath and grabbed a gear and took control of the situation. I pointed at Pops.

“Check his pulse and see if he’s breathing. You’re the one who took the CPR class. Do your thing. I’ll figure how to stop the rampage. Um, try to watch for a second attack?” I was about to continue when Charley squatted down and began checking Mr. Baker dismissing me to carry on with a quick wave.

“Box, box, box. I need a box. Or three. If I can get them in a box I think I can transfer them to their carriers. Hopefully.” Yeah, I was talking to myself out loud. This was the most fucked hp thing that had ever happened to me. I might have been having a mental break.

I sucked in a breath and decided that was just about enough of that silliness. I spotted the boxes from last night’s shipment. Kismet. Now how to do it. One at a time I guess or they might hurt one another?

What in the hell is going on with our fur babies, I thought, as the kittens roared past me. And then it hit me. We hadn’t cleaned up the blow before we continued the tour. Our kittens were on coke. Bad to worse.

I decided to set up near their loop and see if I could do a classic cartoon scoop up as they ran by. Couldn’t hurt to try. I missed on the first pass but I saw how I needed to modify my approach. Luckily, the kittens were in such a zone at this point, they didn’t even seem to notice me.

Score. As soon I made the scoop I closed the flaps. Before I could twist the flaps to a more secure closure, the kitty started clawing away at the box. Fuck, I was going to have to leave the other two here and hope Charley would be okay until I got back.

I went out and made sure the door was re-secured as quickly as possible. After I dashed to the house, I miraculously got the kitten I had into a carrier. I knew that wasn’t going to be a forever solution either but I had to keep moving for now.

I took the other carriers with me. With one successful snatch under my belt I figured I could cut out the box and just use the carrier for my scoop. Sadly, once again, my first attempt failed. So did my second. But by the third pass I had it.

With only one kitten left running around, the mad frenzy seemed to have died down a bit and the third capture was much easier. That part accomplished, I sort of just sank down and sat on my knees for the space of ten breaths. Then I got up to help Charley.

“He’s dead,” Charley announced when I got close. No pretext. No preparation. No emotion. Flat.

My mind reeled. I thought of and discarded four plans before the beautiful roulette wheel of thoughts spinning through my brain landed on 31 black. I looked up at Charley.

“I got this. We can fix this. Grab one of the carriers, we have a lot to do and not a lot of time.”

Charley stood up, nodded once and followed me to the cat carriers. I didn’t have the whole plan but I had a good sketch. We would take advantage of his planned flight Columbia. I knew two people who could help me buff out the rough edges of this plan.

First however, I needed to see if our kittens could even survive this ordeal. The sounds coming from their carriers wasn’t promising but I was trying to take this one minute at a time.

We finally made to the house and I got a look the kittens. They still seemed unable to stop pacing and their tails were twitching madly but the clawing was gone and the hissing was slowing down. I took it as a good sign. Maybe we really could get through this…